We all need to learn to live in peace with the dark side of the unconscious. Just as conflict in the outer world leads to violence, conflict in our inner world leads to inner violence. Not being at peace with yourself, rejecting your shadow qualities, causes you to be unhappy. Recognition, acceptance and humility bring peace and harmony. I believe that the way to live a happy, fulfilled and peaceful life is to know yourself and to use this knowledge thoughtfully. The way to know yourself is to make friends with our shadow characteristics, our unconscious.

The Unconscious Guides Us in the Process of Individuation

We often say things like, “I can't help it, I can't help it, I yell, I can't stop worrying, getting angry, eating, smoking or drinking, I can't control myself”. And often we think that we are right, that there is an external reason why we do these things. Sometimes we think that if we don't get angry our message won't be understood, if we don't worry we won't take the necessary measures to protect our loved ones.

My job as a systemic therapist is to shed light on your path of discovery so that you can walk your own path.

The Unconscious is Our Friend

Lack of mindfulness is often seen as the cause of our worst problems. But this limited and one-sided view leads us to overlook how important a resource the unconscious can be; we fail to see that it can be our ally in the effort to recognize and communicate with our shadow qualities, and that it can be a sacred path to self-knowledge. Our unconscious is with us Dreams, communicates through simultaneous events, even dramatic events such as accidents and illness. All of these show us aspects of ourselves that we have not accepted and guide us on how to incorporate these aspects into our personality.

Carl Gustav Jung He expresses these concepts very well in the following words:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, the unconscious rules your life and you call it destiny.”

“Knowing your own darkness is the best way to deal with the darkness of others.”

Our conscious and unconscious must recognize, respect and make space for each other. If we ignore the messages of our shadow, if we ignore it, it can become hostile. It is our choice whether or not to be friendly with our shadow, as with any other human being. Incorporating our shadow into our conscious personality is a process and does not happen effortlessly. It evolves gradually by letting go of the struggle for control, by resolving to know ourselves in all our facets. This means seeing and recognizing our shadow in our enemies and approaching them without fear or hostility. Then there is a chance for mutual understanding. When we succeed in incorporating our shadow into our conscious personality, we see the most incredible results come one after the other, for example, our illnesses are cured, we know what to do or say to get the best result in a certain situation, we can even intuit future events.

The Unconscious Takes Your Hand on the Path to Living Your Full Potential

The task of each one of us is to realize ourselves, and this task is unique and distinct for each one of us, and it is not helpful to look at the progress of others.

To activate this process of individuation, we need to move away from what everyone else does or expects of us, and consciously give ourselves over to the power of our unconscious. Like the olive tree on the mountain, without planning and without worrying about the obstacles that might come in our way, we need to sense whether we need to move to the right or to the left to find the conditions that will allow us to develop in the best way. All olive trees are alike, but there are no two identical ones. We must find our own unique way to solve the puzzle of individuation. In the same way, we can only be happy, peaceful, productive, whole, complete when the process of incorporating our shadow into our conscious personality is complete. This means that our conscious and unconscious must learn to complement each other and live in peace with each other.

By befriending our unconscious, we can let it guide us on the path to integration and help us in the process of incorporating our shadow into our personality. What would happen if you were completely at peace with your unconscious? What would be easier, different and more harmonious in your relationships, work and life?

In future articles and videos I will share some suggestions and tips to help you learn to live in peace with the dark side of your unconscious.

In the meantime, if you have any questions about this topic or if you have any views you would like to share, please write in the comments section below. I look forward to your thoughts.